Heartwarming
by Lorelalaley
Summary: I hadn't counted the days, I didn't know how long I've been there. I was fascinated by their way of living, their community. Blue Eyes became a very good friend for me. He has given me his trust and I kept it in my heart like a treasure. [Set after Dawn, Blue Eyes&OC]
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! **

**And here is the English version of my Fanfiction about Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - the best movie ever! Fell in love with it. I think this is going to be a short story or a collection of One-Shots. I don't know yet. Updates will take a little bit of time. Actually I am writing this story in German and I have to translate the chapters bit by bit. That's why the chapters aren't that long. It's really a lot of work (plus I am going to University which also takes up time). So please be patient. I hope you are enjoying reading this and let me know what you think about it! Thank you to those who favorite, follow and comment this story! Have fun! **

Exhausted I laid down on the nest which was made of grass and leaves in my hut built out of branches. I had not expected that I would lay on it so softly. My body sank into leaves that were as comfortable as a mattress. It comforted my tired body. After a while I curled up on the side, stretched out a hand and stroked the tender branches and leaves that prickled my fingertips, lost in thought. Calmly I breathed out and closed my eyes.

I hadn't counted the days, I didn't know how long I've been there. They gave me the task to teach them our culture. Human culture. But this task turned out to be much more difficult than I had thought. They mastered the human language but I wasn't in control of the sign language they used. Caesar has told his son Blue Eyes to teach me but he wasn't an experienced teacher and I wasn't a good pupil. Nevertheless we made progress in learning from each other.

The time I have spent with them and the time I would hopefully spend with them in the future as well, meant a lot to me.

I was fascinated by their way of living, their community. They were one big family and they held together. No matter how desperate the situation was, it didn't matter. Their community was a lot stronger than the kind of community the humans had.

Although I was a intruder, a troublemaker for them, they nevertheless had given me a chance and accepted me. I didn't meet a lot of glances filled with desire to kill me anymore.

I had taken their little children into my heart. I enjoyed every free minute I could play with them. With tiny fingers they touched my face, compared their hands with mine, played with long, blonde strands of my hair. It was so cute! Visually there was a huge difference between the Apes and Humans. But in the Apes faces laid so much emotion, their expressions were so human that at the same time I became aware of the fact that we were quite similar. Or that we were going to converge?

I must already have been fallen into a light sleep when a warm touch on my still outstretched hand woke me up.

I met a pair of sky-blue eyes.

Blue Eyes had laid down next to me. Silently we were looking into each others eyes. I enjoyed the weight of his heavy, huge black hand on mine.

"Hey", I finally whispered and a small smile appeared in his youthful face.

Blue Eyes became a very good friend for me. At the beginning we had our difficulties because he also was one of those who didn't trust humans and abhorred them. I couldn't take offence to that.

Reluctantly he had guided me through their village, had shown me their little school, their common eating place and a lot of other places outside the village. His friends had mocked him when they had seen him with me. I didn't miss the comments about my reputed ugly looks, my human stench and my clumsiness.

First he had been angry about it and he often had let stand me alone then in the middle of nowhere. He had treated me like an annoying attachment so that I'd been deeply disappointed. It had made me cry with rage because he was with his proud father Caesar, the only one I could trust, more or less.

But something had changed in him so that he could deal with the others comments easily and could turn his back to them. With increased regularity he had searched for my company. He had guided me to the most beautiful places in the forest and had given me useful tips for search of food. And my heart was beating with joy when I saw him sitting in front of my hut early in the morning, with the warm thought that he was waiting for me. Only me.

No matter how difficult the beginning was...Blue Eyes and I got close. He has given me his trust and I kept it in my heart like a treasure.

He still was simply looking into my eyes.

Carefully I pulled out my hand from under his and dreamily I stroked his fingers. He closed his eyes when I stroke the rough back of his hand, his wrist until I could feel the roots of his soft black fur.

And then I did something I would not have dared to do a few days ago.

Very carefully I touched his cheek. It was warm. Immediately he opened his eyes. My hand twitched slightly but I didn't move it. There was amazement in his eyes. And a glance I couldn't explain. Tiny hairs tickled my palm while I stroke his cheek gently and traced his wide lips. I looked into his eyes again. Blue Eyes had a lovely face. He was striking. I was mesmerized.

For a long time nothing happened. But then he moved towards me, very slowly, his gaze questioning, uncertain, without taking my hand from his cheek I waited for what he would do. My heart began to pound in my chest nervously.

He gently leaned his forehead against mine and a feeling full of warmth, protection and comfort flowed through my body. Smiling I closed my eyes and tried to calm down my heart.

He clasped my neck with his huge hand and I moved closer to him so that I could touch his strong chest, could feel his body heat and his wild, wild heartbeat.

"Thank you, Blue Eyes", I whispered and I knew that he understood when he pulled me closer to him. Embedded in trust, affection and love I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning the first shafts of sunlight searching for a way through the thick branches of my hut woke me up.

I blinked sleepily. The clearer my thoughts became the more I became aware of a comfortable warmth against my back. Blue Eyes had laid one of his strong arms around my waist, his chin was resting on top of my head. With my back I was leaning against his muscular chest so that I could feel his calm breaths of air. I sighed contentedly, having my eyes closed. I wanted to fall asleep again, wanted to forget all my sorrows.

But after a while of peace I decided to get up. Very carefully I freed myself of his embrace and sneaked to the entrance of my hut. A brief moment before I stepped out, I turned around once again to notice with relief that I hadn't woken him. His face was relaxed and his breath smooth as he rested on my nest.

I went out and stepped into the warm glow of the morning sun, holding a hand up to cover my eyes. The upper half of the gigantic star peeked out behind the tree tops and bathed the woods in golden gleam. The big hills that stood still and dark, like silent giants, were enveloped with fog that was roaming lazily around them.

I sat down on a rock in front of my hut and let the sunlight indulge my face. Dreamily I listened to the sounds of the forest. The mild wind swept through the tree tops, leaves rustling gently. From time to time you could hear wing beating or the reverberating call of a falcon in the distance, carrying the sweet sound of freedom.

It cost much strength to resist the sore temptation to simply get up and to walk through the quiet forest, to the nice places Blue Eyes had shown me. But it would have been too dangerous. According to Caesar and Blue Eyes I still made to much noise when I walked through the woods. I would scare away the prey, would draw the attention of dangerous animals to me. Meeting a wild and angry bear was a risk I wanted to avoid.

At this thought the picture of Blue Eyes' big scars on his chest and around his right shoulder came before my eyes. Not to forget the cutting deep wound on his cheek. He had told me that he had learned an important lesson due to his carelessness and the following battle with the giant grizzly that was the result. His wounds would make him stronger.

I realized it was better to stay here. Safe.

The Apes were still sound asleep. I didn't see one single awaken soul. Everything was silent, the village got some peace. The only ones who still should be awake were the guards. The flames of their fires and torches died out, billows of smoke climbed slowly heavenwards and disappeared in the air.

I didn't know what today's day would bring with it. I just knew that I would enjoy it like every other one. Here, life was a different one. Sometimes it seemed to me like life in a foreign world. A foreign world giving me the feeling of home. I've found a new family and new friends. Who would have known that my life would change in such a radical way?

How were the remaining humans doing? Did my old friends still think about me? Or had they already forgotten about me? Were they still alive? Or had the simian flu caught up?

I barely remembered how I got here to the Apes colony in the woods. All the new experiences and impressions had wrapped around my old memories like sticky threads and smothered them. And with every day there would be more buried in oblivion, suppressed.

One day I would sneak away and search for survivors. Just out of curiosity.

But when I'd tell Caesar or Blue Eyes, they never would let me go. The hatred for humans that the Apes carried within their hearts was too big to be erased with the promise of friendship, cooperation or coexistence.

I was trapped in a world in between. Why had the Apes accepted me of all people and hadn't killed me? Maybe I would ask Caesar.

All those thoughts were debilitating. I sighed and raised myself up slowly. Yawning I stretched, tiredness returned and I longed for the warmth of a certain chimp, a warmth that could soothe my heart only.

Quietly I sneaked back into my hut. Blue Eyes hadn't moved, he was still laying on his side and sleeping. Not wanting to break the silence I laid down on the opposite side and watched his relaxed face. Usually his youthful features reflected gravity, sorrow and uncertainty. Only in his sleep he could find true peace and the possibility to escape reality. Gently I stroked his cheek with the back of my hand, I liked his touch of his skin on mine. So rough. And his fur was so much softer.

He was so different from me. But every time I faced him, I didn't see an animal in front of me. But what I saw exactly … I simply couldn't tell, didn't find any words for it. And so I couldn't describe my feelings towards him. What if he sometimes thought the same things about me?

His lids trembled and slowly he opened his tired eyes.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?", I asked quietly and stroked his cheek.

He gently puffed through his nose and shook his head. His sky-blue eyes grazed my face.

"_Long awake?"_ he asked in sign language after a while.

"No, not for long", I answered. "I've been watching the sunrise. And thinking about things ..."

_"About humans?"_

"As well, but this is not important now."

Thoughtfully he scanned my face. I couldn't read his expression, the bright blue of his eyes pulled me down into an unfathomable depth. I was drowning in them, didn't find a saving shore, I was on my own.

Could he read my confused thoughts from my eyes? Did they tell so much? Unease spread out in my chest. Every single thought I spend to humans seemed to me like a betrayal, like a breakdown of trust. But I couldn't forbid those thoughts.

Blue Eyes puffed gently once again. Lazily he reached for my hand as if he wanted to tell me that I should forget all my sorrows. I hesitated but then I took it gratefully in mine and he pulled me close. Only vaguely I recognized the exhausted words he signaled me in sign language.

_"Talk about humans another time. I am so tired."_

I smirked when his eyes closed once again.

"Sleep. I'll stay. By your side."

I huddled against him and let him me wrap up in warmth again. And forgot for a short moment.


	3. Chapter 3

**It's been a while! I am sorry for the long wait. I am still working on this story. Don't worry! ;)**

After I had eaten something I started my way to Caesar's hut, knees weak. Those thoughts I had this morning had settled down in my head, whirring around, made me feel uneasy. I had to speak to Caesar. Blue Eyes was hunting with the other young male Apes and it would take a while until they returned to the village. That's why I had decided to make use of this opportunity.

When I reached the tree whose tree crown was Caesar's residence, I paused with my mouth dry and with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Kneading my hands I looked up with every consideration.

The prominent wooden stakes building helical stairs leading up, and further up building a kind of platform, acted as scary and threatening.

Was it really the right time to go to him? I felt like as if I would invade his deepest privacy. Nobody had any place up there. Only family members, and close friends like Maurice and Rocket. But without doubt there no human had a place up there!  
>Nevertheless I had to speak to him.<p>

With a pounding heart I made my way up the stairs. Every moment I was afraid that I would meet somebody who blocked my way to Caesar. But nothing happened. Everything was silent.

In the middle of the way up I stopped and bent forwards carefully and let my gaze wander downward. From this place you had a breathtaking sight of the village and the forest in the distance. The sight of the forest would have been a lot more admirable when the heavens haven't been draped with thick gray clouds. The sun of this morning was hidden behind them completely. The air was moist, it was misty and the fog seemed to devour the big hills. In spite of everything I was so fascinated by the view in front of me that I forgot everything around me, for I was lost in astonishment.

"Are you. Enjoying. The view?"

The deep rough voice of Caesar caused me to jump and only with much strength I could suppress the scream of shock in my throat. I swung around and lost purchase under my feet. In panic I flailed around, trying to find balance again, searching for support but I didn't find any. With wide eyes I stared down the scarp, felt how my body toppled over backwards, threatened to fall. But in the last moment a strong hand gripped my arm and drew me roughly from menacing depth.

Gasping I knocked against Caesar's chest. Shaking, I clung firmly to his arms and tried to calm down my racing heart. That was close.

"Attention. Wood is slippery."

He doesn't say! His entire body was vibrating when he talked. Embarrassed I released him. He and his son were right. I would definitely not survive outside the village for a second.

After a while I dared to look at him. Caesar was standing only a few feet apart from me, upright, on his strong hind legs. He was a half head taller than me. His face was unfathomable, his intensive eyes turned towards me. At this sight of his proud form I was running out of words. I wanted to say something, opened my mouth but I had no words. Did I forget to speak?

My bewilderment and confusion seemed to amuse him and a ghost of a smile shooted over his always so serious face.

"Why are you here?" he asked quietly and looked at me eagerly.

I had to weigh my words so that I could explain why I was sneaking to his residence and breaking the peace. I gulped.

"I … want to ask you something." He bent his head curiously.

"I had to think about the humans this morning. I have questions. Questions I simply can't answer myself."

He turned away and began to walk downstairs. With a short movement of his hand he indicated to me to follow him. We walked down the tree and sat down on its giant root. Caesar sat at this place when he thought or talked with Maurice about familiar things. I had seen him sitting here every little while. Together with Blue Eyes, too.

Afraid of saying something wrong I sat beside him in silence. Then he turned around.

"What do you want. To ask?"

Now or never. I gave my best to accentuate my spoken words with sign language. The sentences in sign language were absolutely senseless.

"This morning I asked myself how the remaining humans are doing. If old friends are still alive and think about me."

He eyed me, lips formed to a serious line.  
>And then I said the forbidden thought.<p>

"One day I want to look for them." Before he could say something I continued.

"I know that it is difficult between Apes and Humans. And I also know that life in peace is probably not possible. But why did you accept me then? Why haven't you killed me? Why don't you see danger in me?"

I watched Caesar's face. He seemed to slip through the questions once again and looked at me thoughtful. But there was something in his eyes that told me he wasn't surprised. As if he had counted on questions like these. Following, a deep sigh escaped his lips and his gaze locked on the distance in front of us again.

_"We don't kill pointlessly,"_ he began and looked at me again. _"When you came to us you were in despair. Helpless. Lost. I couldn't. Kill you. Not all humans are bad. I know that. You were allowed to stay." _

Caesar owned more sympathy for humans than other Apes in the village did. That was because he grew up at a humans house and felt their love. Unlike Koba who I had heard from. He has fallen prey to experiments, he has been tortured and jailed so that an unrestrained hatred for humans had grown inside of him.

Caesar's eyes shot to the movements downward. The heart of the village was filled with life. Maurice was teaching the little ones new words in sign language. Exciting chirping filled the air. Caesar smirked and I had to smile, too.

_"We have seen that children liked you. Decided that you teach them human language. Saw that you can show us new weapons. Knew, that you are of use."_

I understood that the words 'of use' weren't meant in a negative way. Life here was based on reciprocity. We benefited from each other, nobody wanted to harm anybody.

_"We all learn together. Knowledge is power."_

"I am happy when I can help you. I owe my life to you all … no, to **you**, Caesar." With a nod he acknowledged my honest words. Following, he continued.

_"One single human, not dangerous. That's why we didn't see any danger. But a lot of humans, deadly. I don't know if you should go to look for them. I am worried about my family, the colony."_

In the corner of my eye I saw that he lowered his head sadly. All the events, all the confrontations with humans weren't forgotten by any means. I would not have a chance to look for survivors or to see old friends again. And in some way I could understand that.

_"Can not prohibit you from going outside. But you still have to learn a lot. Too noisy, not concentrated."_

Stunned I rose up my head and stared at him with wide eyes. Had Caesar given me his permission to leave the village and to look for humans just now? When I'd be ready? But why didn't I feel comfortable?

He avoided my gaze. He seemed to be uncertain. Uncertain about if he did just the right decision. A merciless fight with the most different feelings seemed to rage inside of him.  
>They all trusted me that much. If something were to go wrong I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I would lose everything. Sorrowful I looked down to my lap.<p>

"I am not sure if I will do this. The last thing I want is putting you in danger. When something happens to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I have taken you all into my heart and..."

While I spoke those words I had to think about Blue Eyes. Losing him was a thing I couldn't and didn't want to imagine. When I talked about humans with him, an always deep sadness sneaked into his eyes, demoralizing me inside, slowly and painfully. Angel and Devil were struggling for dominating position in my head.

Suddenly I felt a heavy weight on my shoulder. With tears in my eyes I turned and looked into Caesar's warm face.

_"You are not alone. I know it is difficult. So it is for me. You have time to think about it. But do not forget to protect us. _We are all family. You, are a member of it_."_

His last, quietly spoken words let me fall round his neck with tears rolling down my cheeks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my dear readers! I am so sorry that you had to wait that long. This chapter isn't the beta version. So I am sorry for any mistakes. Please tell me what is wrong and I will correct it immediately. I'll also do an update after I got my beta version. I just didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. And please don't write comments like "Please update" or something like that. I'd like to know what you think about the story or what I can do better (regarding writing skills). A big thank you to all who favorite, follow and comment the story! :) **

I was sitting on the rock in front of my hut and waited for Blue Eyes to return. Hunting seemed to take more time than usual. Normally they would return in the afternoon but the sun was already disappearing behind thick clouds, behind the big forest hills.

Hopefully nothing had happened to Blue Eyes and the others.

Only a few beams of light broke through the puffy blanket of clouds. It would begin to rain this night.

Caesar's words echoed in my head. Our conversation had touched me. I haven't been aware of the fact that his family accepted me as a member of it. The trust he was giving me was overwhelming. His goodness was endlessly big and I didn't know a way to return it.

Actually I had hoped that Caesar could help me. On the one hand he had partially but on the other hand my plan looking for other survivors has begun to crumble. It crumbled down into his single pieces which didn't make sense anymore and were assailed with doubt so that it was hard to make a final decision. Now it was harder than before. Furthermore I wanted to talk to Blue Eyes. It was only fair that he'd knew about the secret plans of mine and the conversation with Caesar.

The comfortable silence was interrupted by exciting calls and snorting of the returning group of hunters. When my gaze hit Blue Eyes was riding one of the black Friesan horses on the top of the troop I saw that he was deep in conversation with Rocket. They seemed to reflect the hunt because I recognized some sign language about new tactics and weapons. But because of the distance I could only guess the content of the conversation.

Suddenly Blue Eyes turned his head around slowly and looked up to me as if he had felt my glance lingering on him. Shyly I lifted a hand and waved cowardly. With soft eyes and a barely noticeable nodding he accepted my greeting.

Sometimes I felt like there was a part of him that I would never get to know. Blue Eyes didn't talk much about himself. He avoided a lot of questions and I thought that he unfortunately tried to manage his sorrows, fears and problems all by himself too often. Sometimes I believed I'd know him, that I was going to get closer to his real self. Like I did last night. But from the one moment to the other I thought I didn't recognize him anymore. He drifted off like a boat caught by the flood and carried out to sea. And yet I wanted to be there for him in the same way he did for me.

After the group had brought the horses to their paddock and had stored the prey, Blue Eyes climbed up to my sitting place. When he was within reach I took hold of his hand he already had stretched towards me, pulled him close and leaned my forehead against his gently. I felt his wildly beating heart vibrating in his chest. Still shaking from the hunts excitement.

"Welcome back", I greeted him quietly and smiled, happy to see him sound.

He then watched my face for a long time, his gaze lingered on my cheeks, his smile disappearing. Questions, confusion and a touch of sadness loomed in his features. Slowly he released his hand from mine and held it in the air tentatively. And then he stroke with one of his huge fingers over my cheek so tenderly that I almost didn't feel it.

I held my breath. His touch was as light as the graze of the wing of a butterfly. After that he laid his finger on his wide lips, seemed to think for a short while and met my glimpse once again.

_"Did you cry?"_

Surprised I looked at him and realized immediately that there was no escape.

So I did tell him about the conversation between his father and me. I didn't forget one single detail. I betrayed him my clumsiness that almost let me fall into my death. Described him the chaos of feelings inside of me. Told him about Caesar's doubts regarding my plan and about his kindness that was endlessly huge so that it hurt and I thought I didn't deserve it.

With every single word escaped my lips his eyes became sadder. Their blue color seemed to move like churning water. His head bowed, his stare completely impassive. Blue Eyes gazed into the distance and didn't say a word the whole time. It almost broke my heart to see him like that.

After I came to an end, silence spread out that became nearly catchable. With every breath of air the feeling of guilt grew, became unbearable. Encumbered my shoulders, getting heavier and heavier, pushing me into the ground. I sighed.

"I don't know if I should look for them", I finally said, voice weak and I waited for his reaction. After an eternity he finally answered.

_"Don't look for them. Too dangerous."_

"But maybe my friends are still alive. Maybe I have a chance to see them again."

_"You also have friends here. Why do you need human friends?"_

"Of course I also do have friends here. But the others are also important to me and I-"

_"More important than colony?"_

I paused. Both sides were important to me. That was the truth. Why couldn't I bring myself to say it? Blue Eyes looked at me with an unfathomable glance.

_"What will happen when you have to choose. What will happen when you want to stay with humans?"_

I opened my mouth and closed it again right after it. I didn't have an answer for that. Yes, what would my decision be like? Blue Eyes puffed loudly and the movements of his hands became more energetic. He became impatient. Angry.

_"How do you know that it is safe with humans? What is when they attack the colony? Situation is taut. What is when you choose the wrong way, then-"_

"I don't know what is the right way to choose, Blue Eyes!", I interrupted with a loud voice and buried my face in my hands, trying to protect myself from the wave of desperation crashing down on me. Where should this conversation lead to? Could I look into the future? No! I would make a decision. But not today and not tomorrow. I didn't know when. Blue Eyes had reacted in a very different way than his father had. Actually I had hoped that Blue Eyes would understand like Caesar did. But my naivety had deceived me. I felt like a ghost wandering between two different worlds.

A soft touch on my knee pulled me out of my thoughts blustered in my head. I looked up and faced a pair of blue eyes. My face was only inches away from his.

_"I am scared ..."_, he signed calmly.

_"Scared of loosing you ..."_

His glance wandered to my hands resting on my lap. Tenderly he stroke with his knuckles over the back of my hands.

_"Scared that you will not come back ..."_

He grimaced grievously as if he didn't know what he was saying. As if he didn't understand his own words. Deep, trembling he sighed. Closed his eyes as if he was trying to create clarity inside of his head. His broken appearance crushed my heart. Carefully I touched his face, wiped away a single tear that rolled down his cheek. He bowed his head, pushing his cheek against my hand desperately so that his lips brushed the heel of my hand.

"I would never leave you, Blue Eyes. I can't. And I don't want to. Do you understand?" He put his hand over mine holding his cheek.

"If I'll look for them, I want you to come with me."

Abruptly he lifted his head and stared at me terrified. I knew that I was asking for too much.

"But that has to wait. Now isn't the right time."

Exhausted he closed his eyes and nodded barely. He breathed out deeply.

It was important that he knew I wouldn't throw my idea away. And it also was important that he knew I wouldn't leave him. I was fully aware of his uncertainty I wasn't able to take off of him. I had destroyed something between us and I didn't know how I could change that again. Deep inside I felt that I was doing the right thing. If I didn't give the whole thing a chance I would regret it sooner or later.

And I was convinced that Blue Eyes would understand, too. Like his father did. Anytime.

It began to rain.


End file.
